10 Tips for Better You
Photo by Elina Fairytale from pexels.com
Below you will find 10 tips for self-improvement to incorporate into your daily life. You can choose to do only some of them (the ones that resonate with you), or do them all, in the order I have listed them or in random order, every day or whenever you feel like it - it doesn't matter as long as you do at least some of them at least some of the time. I guarantee you will start noticing positive changes in yourself and in your life:
1. Smiling. Did you know that smiling works both ways? We all know that when we feel good — we smile, but research shows that it works the other way round too — when we smile it makes us feel better. Remind yourself to smile — when you open your eyes in the morning, when you are having a cup of coffee, when you are looking out the window, when you see a friend, when you pick up your favourite book — there are so many reasons to smile every day!
2. Kindness. We are all kind — inside, at heart, in our souls, but when it comes to everyday interactions with the world around us, we get angry at our partners for leaving dirty dishes in the sink, or forgetting our birthday, at other people for being late, for not doing their job properly, etc. We snap all the time, often without noticing it. The first step to changing this is to keep track of your reactions. Every time you feel like you are about to lose it picture Adam Sandler singing “I feel pretty” in Anger Management movie.
And remember to be kind to yourself! Nobody’s perfect, but we are all trying.
3. Mindfulness. To be mindful is to be here and now, to fully focus on what you are doing at the moment — be it washing up, eating, reading or talking to someone. Train yourself to gently bring your attention to what you are doing at the moment instead of letting your mind wander. And forget multitasking, which seems to be the curse of our time — we do everything with a smartphone in our hands — eat, drink coffee, talk to family, some people even take it to the bathroom with them! This is the opposite of mindfulness.
Engage your senses — feel, taste, smell, hear everything that is happening at the moment. When you are eating, notice the aroma of the food, it’s taste, temperature, texture, the sensation in your mouth. When you are washing up feel the water and the soap suds on your hands, the slippery smoothness of wet plates and cups, the sharp metal of cutlery, the heat of the water. Be 100% present. It’s not hard, we just forgot how to do it in our world of millions of distractions and we need to re-learn again how to savour the moment to enjoy the taste of life.
4. No Judgement Day. You get it — it’s the opposite of Judgement Day:) Without noticing we are passing millions of judgements every day — “ I like this”, “I hate that”, “you are wrong”, “that is stupid”, “it’s horrible”, “eeughh”…Some of them are nice judgements: “that’s nice”, “I like that”, “what a beautiful flower”. The latter are better, but they are still judgements. Our goal is to minimise the number of judgements per day, especially the negative ones. Why? Because things just are. They are not good or bad, ugly or beautiful — only our judgements make them so. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So let’s just accept things (and people) as they are, without judging them.
5. Pollyanna Day. I love children’s literature and I am not ashamed of it:) If you haven’t read Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter yet, believe me you should. Pollyanna is an expert in “just being glad” game and in finding silver linings. And we should all learn from her. I really can’t say any more — just read the book (or my review of it) and remember that every cloud has a silver lining.
6. Silence. Sometimes it’s nice to spend a day in silence. Silence is a common practice in a lot of religious, spiritual and yogic traditions. Silencing your outer voice can also help silence your inner voice — the incessant chatter of thoughts in your head. And that in turn brings inner peace, makes you calmer, helps you be more mindful. It’s deceptively easy, but incredibly hard to do if you don’t live alone. I have tried it and failed several times. My husband was super excited when I announced that I wasn’t going to talk to him for a day, and then he laughed so hard when I couldn’t keep the promise. So here’s a useful tip — it might be a good idea to try this when you are home alone first (even then you might be tempted to talk to yourself:). So good luck!
7. Meditation. Oh this wonderful thing that everybody’s talking about and that apparently is so good for you! It’s all true, and it’s so easy in theory — we can always find 5–10 minutes a day to sit quietly with our eyes closed and our legs crossed. It doesn’t even have to be early in the morning — it can be done any time of the day (although after waking up and before going to bed are the best times for it). The point of meditation is to quieten your mind that is producing a million thoughts per second. And there is no one correct way of doing it:
- you don’t have to sit with your legs crossed if that’s uncomfortable — you can use a chair/armchair, sit on a sofa;
- you don’t have to stop thinking — that’s nearly impossible, but to try and stop your mind from wandering in all directions you can use counting (one — when you breathe in, two — when you breathe out, etc.), a mantra (OM is the universal one, but you can find a lot of different ones on the internet and choose one that resonates with you), or you can choose to do a guided meditation — that’s when you are listening to a recording guiding you through the process (I used Headspace in the past and it was good, but there are plenty of apps out there as well as meditations on YouTube), or a smiling meditation taught by Ketut Liyer from Eat, Pray, Love (“To meditate, only you must smile. Smile with face, smile with mind, and good energy will come to you and clear away dirty energy. Even smile in your liver.”).
I know from experience that it’s easy in theory to find time to do it, but it doesn’t always work in practice. There will be days when you skip meditation, and that’s ok, as long as you remember to do it when you can. Even on a bus on your way to or from work. It is truly a powerful and transformative practice and it’s totally worth the effort.
8. Gratitude. That’s one of my favourite steps and I find it the easiest too. All you need to do it to think about (or write in your gratitude journal) things you are grateful for every day — be it a nice cup of coffee or a ray of sunshine through the clouds, a kiss or a smile. You can acknowledge your gratitude as things happen (with a smile, with a nod, or with a “thank you universe” in your head) or list them (in your mind or in your gratitude journal) at the end of the day. Just remember not to turn it into a chore. Gratitude is good for the soul and it’s supposed to make you feel good, so choose to do it the way it works for you.
9. Self-care. Strangely enough this is one of the hardest things to do. We are constantly on the run, we have millions of things on our to-do lists, and we forget to stop and breathe and do something nice for ourselves. I am talking a nice relaxing massage (if you are into them), a cosy evening in with a good book and a cup of tea, a face mask, a hair treatment, a facial, a spa, a yoga retreat, a nice long walk — things that are good for the body and the soul. I often think how ironic it is that we take so much care cleaning and taking care of our houses and cars, but not half as much time taking care of our own bodies that deserve to be pampered more than anything else.
10. Reading and Learning. Lifelong learning is a thing. And it is a damn good thing too! I don’t have to tell you about the benefits of intellectual stimulation, and I won’t. You already know it so start giving your mind food for thought and learning something new every day.
1. Smiling. Did you know that smiling works both ways? We all know that when we feel good — we smile, but research shows that it works the other way round too — when we smile it makes us feel better. Remind yourself to smile — when you open your eyes in the morning, when you are having a cup of coffee, when you are looking out the window, when you see a friend, when you pick up your favourite book — there are so many reasons to smile every day!
2. Kindness. We are all kind — inside, at heart, in our souls, but when it comes to everyday interactions with the world around us, we get angry at our partners for leaving dirty dishes in the sink, or forgetting our birthday, at other people for being late, for not doing their job properly, etc. We snap all the time, often without noticing it. The first step to changing this is to keep track of your reactions. Every time you feel like you are about to lose it picture Adam Sandler singing “I feel pretty” in Anger Management movie.
And remember to be kind to yourself! Nobody’s perfect, but we are all trying.
3. Mindfulness. To be mindful is to be here and now, to fully focus on what you are doing at the moment — be it washing up, eating, reading or talking to someone. Train yourself to gently bring your attention to what you are doing at the moment instead of letting your mind wander. And forget multitasking, which seems to be the curse of our time — we do everything with a smartphone in our hands — eat, drink coffee, talk to family, some people even take it to the bathroom with them! This is the opposite of mindfulness.
Engage your senses — feel, taste, smell, hear everything that is happening at the moment. When you are eating, notice the aroma of the food, it’s taste, temperature, texture, the sensation in your mouth. When you are washing up feel the water and the soap suds on your hands, the slippery smoothness of wet plates and cups, the sharp metal of cutlery, the heat of the water. Be 100% present. It’s not hard, we just forgot how to do it in our world of millions of distractions and we need to re-learn again how to savour the moment to enjoy the taste of life.
4. No Judgement Day. You get it — it’s the opposite of Judgement Day:) Without noticing we are passing millions of judgements every day — “ I like this”, “I hate that”, “you are wrong”, “that is stupid”, “it’s horrible”, “eeughh”…Some of them are nice judgements: “that’s nice”, “I like that”, “what a beautiful flower”. The latter are better, but they are still judgements. Our goal is to minimise the number of judgements per day, especially the negative ones. Why? Because things just are. They are not good or bad, ugly or beautiful — only our judgements make them so. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So let’s just accept things (and people) as they are, without judging them.
5. Pollyanna Day. I love children’s literature and I am not ashamed of it:) If you haven’t read Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter yet, believe me you should. Pollyanna is an expert in “just being glad” game and in finding silver linings. And we should all learn from her. I really can’t say any more — just read the book (or my review of it) and remember that every cloud has a silver lining.
6. Silence. Sometimes it’s nice to spend a day in silence. Silence is a common practice in a lot of religious, spiritual and yogic traditions. Silencing your outer voice can also help silence your inner voice — the incessant chatter of thoughts in your head. And that in turn brings inner peace, makes you calmer, helps you be more mindful. It’s deceptively easy, but incredibly hard to do if you don’t live alone. I have tried it and failed several times. My husband was super excited when I announced that I wasn’t going to talk to him for a day, and then he laughed so hard when I couldn’t keep the promise. So here’s a useful tip — it might be a good idea to try this when you are home alone first (even then you might be tempted to talk to yourself:). So good luck!
7. Meditation. Oh this wonderful thing that everybody’s talking about and that apparently is so good for you! It’s all true, and it’s so easy in theory — we can always find 5–10 minutes a day to sit quietly with our eyes closed and our legs crossed. It doesn’t even have to be early in the morning — it can be done any time of the day (although after waking up and before going to bed are the best times for it). The point of meditation is to quieten your mind that is producing a million thoughts per second. And there is no one correct way of doing it:
- you don’t have to sit with your legs crossed if that’s uncomfortable — you can use a chair/armchair, sit on a sofa;
- you don’t have to stop thinking — that’s nearly impossible, but to try and stop your mind from wandering in all directions you can use counting (one — when you breathe in, two — when you breathe out, etc.), a mantra (OM is the universal one, but you can find a lot of different ones on the internet and choose one that resonates with you), or you can choose to do a guided meditation — that’s when you are listening to a recording guiding you through the process (I used Headspace in the past and it was good, but there are plenty of apps out there as well as meditations on YouTube), or a smiling meditation taught by Ketut Liyer from Eat, Pray, Love (“To meditate, only you must smile. Smile with face, smile with mind, and good energy will come to you and clear away dirty energy. Even smile in your liver.”).
I know from experience that it’s easy in theory to find time to do it, but it doesn’t always work in practice. There will be days when you skip meditation, and that’s ok, as long as you remember to do it when you can. Even on a bus on your way to or from work. It is truly a powerful and transformative practice and it’s totally worth the effort.
8. Gratitude. That’s one of my favourite steps and I find it the easiest too. All you need to do it to think about (or write in your gratitude journal) things you are grateful for every day — be it a nice cup of coffee or a ray of sunshine through the clouds, a kiss or a smile. You can acknowledge your gratitude as things happen (with a smile, with a nod, or with a “thank you universe” in your head) or list them (in your mind or in your gratitude journal) at the end of the day. Just remember not to turn it into a chore. Gratitude is good for the soul and it’s supposed to make you feel good, so choose to do it the way it works for you.
9. Self-care. Strangely enough this is one of the hardest things to do. We are constantly on the run, we have millions of things on our to-do lists, and we forget to stop and breathe and do something nice for ourselves. I am talking a nice relaxing massage (if you are into them), a cosy evening in with a good book and a cup of tea, a face mask, a hair treatment, a facial, a spa, a yoga retreat, a nice long walk — things that are good for the body and the soul. I often think how ironic it is that we take so much care cleaning and taking care of our houses and cars, but not half as much time taking care of our own bodies that deserve to be pampered more than anything else.
10. Reading and Learning. Lifelong learning is a thing. And it is a damn good thing too! I don’t have to tell you about the benefits of intellectual stimulation, and I won’t. You already know it so start giving your mind food for thought and learning something new every day.
Comments
Post a Comment